Don’t say you’ll ‘treat a girl like a princess’ unless you’re prepared to follow up on that shit.
If I’m not living in a castle by the sea with diplomatic powers over a small country then you’re a bitch-ass liar.
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a wallet that will never be stolen from your purse
omg
omfg
oh
Holy shit.
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The freedom I need to feel
Ok Prince of Persia. Calm down.
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Always reblog.
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Chimps do it for the lulz also
I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT THAT FUCKING ALIEN SPIDER THING IS ON THE MAMA CHIMP’S BACK JFC
When you see it…
OH SHIIIIIITTT
It’s dry grass from the edge of the bank that was stuck to the baby’s foot.
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IM FUCKIN PISSING
I CANT FUCKING HANDLE THIS BUT OMG I’M SO GLAD THAT I CLICKED THAT BUTTON. FUCKING CLICK IT
THIS IS HILARIOUS COME BE MY BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW
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This is so relevant to my life.
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#i feel so bad when any guy or girl tries to date his daughter #because you show up at their door and her dad is fuckin’ Thor
Look how badass he is while holding that baby
But what if he used it on the guy who came to the door for his daughter?
TELL ME, MIDGARDIAN. WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS TOWARDS MY DAUGHTER?
I AM OBLIGED TO INFORM YOU NOW THAT ANY DISRESPECT TOWARDS HER SHALL SURELY END POORLY FOR YOU.
WHOSOEVER DATETH MY DAUGHTER
IF HE BE WORTHY
SHALL POSSESS
THE BLESSING OF THOR
and watch when the time comes, he’ll just be like “Hey, mate, treat her good okay? Bring her back before eleven please. Drive safely.”
I THINK WE HAVE TO WORRY MORE ABOUT HER GODFATHER, TOM LOKI HIDDLESTON TBH.
What the hell.
This is the greatest post in the universe.jesus christ it’s updated
Rebloggin for the comments.
JFC Tumblr, I can’t take you anywhere.
I love you
ALL of you
this shit just keeps getting better!!!
Dear lord this girl is going to have the hardest time getting a boyfriend. The poor thing is going to come home, stomp up to her room, try to slam the door, but it’ll be impossible because Chris Hemsworth will effortlessly stop the door with his huge Norse God arm.
And she’ll be like “DAD! YOU SCARED HIM AWAY!”
“I DID NO SUCH THING, MY DEAREST DAUGHTER. I ONLY SPOKE TO HIM THE TRUEST TRUTH OF THE NINE REALMS.”
“Oh my god, dad…”
“HE HAD AN ILL LOOK ABOUT HIM, I LIKED IT NOT. YOU ARE DESERVING OF THE HIGHEST OF QUALITY IN MEN, NOT THE LIKES OF HIM. YOU HAVE A DUTY AS PRINCESS OF ASGARD TO MARRY WELL AND SERVE THE KINGDOM, AND I ALSO WISH THAT YOU MAY HAVE A HUSBAND WHO WILL TREAT YOU AS THE QUEEN YOU ARE.”
“Dad… I’m not a queen! Stop it!”
And then Tom Loki Hiddleston, her godfather, walks in and she’s like: “And YOU! YOU SCARED HIM, TOO!”
“Oh, I did? My mistake. I overestimated the bravery of the young man, I fear.”
“WELL DONE, BROTHER.”
“Dad! Uncle Tom! SHUT UP! YOU’RE NOT EVEN REAL BROTHERS!”
“I fear your daughter is saying hurtful things in her anger, she means them not, I think. Worry not, Thor, I had trouble with my children more than once…”
“UNCLE TOM YOU DON’T HAVE ANY KIDS!”
“BROTHER PERHAPS WE SHOULD LEAVE HER TO HER ANGER.”
“No, wait! You guys have to stop doing this, I’m never going to get a boyfriend if you keep doing this!”
“Oh, alright. We shall never again berate or intimidate the young men whom you present to us. I promise.”
“UNCLE TOM STOP TALKING LIKE THAT.”
“Darling girl, my name is Loki, God of Mischief, Silvertongue, Lord of Lies. I know not of this Tom you speak of.”
“YES, MY DEAR. YOUR YOUNG MEN SHALL BE SAFE FROM ANY SO-CALLED WRONGDOING OF OURS.”
“Dad…”
“WHAT IS IT, DAUGHTER?”
“Never mind. Thanks, good night.”
#And then the next day Tom and Chris are in full costume#helmets and all#with their scepters and their capes#And she brings in this young guy#and they open the door#And there’s her father and her godfather#Tom smiling his ovary-bursting smile#you know the evil one that’s also strangely sexy#And Chris has his hammer at the ready#and they greet him#calling him a suitor for the hand of the princess of Asgard#talking about how he’ll need to complete nine Trials to prove himself worthy to have her as his queen
I’m sorry
but this just keeps getting better and better
EACH TIME I SEE THIS THERE ARE MORE WONDERFUL COMMENTS
THIS IS FRIGGIN GOLD, BAHAHAHA
I read the whole thing.
IT JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER
This always comes up from the same person on my dash LOL.
Every time I see it, the comments have gotten infinitely longer and it’s hysterical.
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Someone translated the poem Arastoo recited for Cam!
I worship love, not like in the writings
My love, my only faith, her slightest discomfort ruins my root and my belief
I’m in heaven when I’m with you from now on
Right now, right here, with you, my loveTaken from here
